


Peace(s)

by blakefancier



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-26
Updated: 2011-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-18 17:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It only hurts when Blake laughs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peace(s)

I don't dream anymore, though Avon may argue with that  
statement. I don't know why my sleep is filled with nothing. There  
are no dreams to fill my empty spaces, places where no one dare  
go, except perhaps the Federation.

Ha! It seems I am a poet.

*****

They're all angry about Atlay. Avon, I expected, the contrary  
bastard. But not the others, not Jenna who experienced it all with  
me.

Renounce, renounce.

How can I now when there's no place for me to go. Who could  
compete with my empty spaces? When Gan died, I sat in my room  
getting drunk...mourning him. They held their own wake for him.  
I stumbled across them one night when I couldn't sleep. My  
presence was met with silence. I don't blame them. It was my  
fault. Was Central Control a dream?

Will they hold a wake for me when I die? Who will weep?

*****

No one will weep for me. I cannot weep for myself.

*****

Someday I hope to introduce someone as "my old friend."

*****

I slept with Avon once; no, that's not a figure of speech. I was walking past his living space and I heard a cry. I got Zen to open the door for me. Avon was twisted in the sheets, shivering, calling out her name, Anna. I slipped under the covers, held him, and stroked his  
hair.

His eyes were icy cold the next morning. Who knew that love could hurt as badly as hate?

I had forgotten.

God, I'm tired.

*****

Sometimes I think all I'm good at is killing. Am I what the Federation made me?

*****

I am queer.

Avon hates queers.

He let me suck him.

*****

Maybe after Star One I can dream again.

*****

Avon wants to be free of me. If we survive this, I'll give him what he wants. I'm tired of arguing, I'm tired of being empty.

Thank god it only hurts when I laugh.


End file.
